One of the things I’ve alway struggle with in life is not being liked especially by my family. I’ve always worried that something I do will make them not like me and I’ve mainly outgrown that but theres still that part in me that seeks their love. Making a choice conscious of something that they may not support is hard but sometimes in life making the hard choice will bring more happiness. I’ve made a choice recently that has brought me so much joy it’s kind of crazy.
Growing up my then stepdad was vocal when asked about his feelings on gays. He HATES them, they are worthless to him. Gays are basically not people in his eyes, they are basically dirt. So, when I realized I like girls (and boys) I hid it. I couldn’t suffer anymore of his hate then he already was giving me. As I continued to explore who I was I knew that it wasn’t something that I wanted to hid but there was no way in hell that I would ever come out with him in my life. Then my parents got divorced and I thought oh this will be easy because my biggest block is out of my life. Well then I realized that I have a very Christin family.
My family is amazing and I love them to death but they are far more christian than I am. We’ve never really had conversations about people who liked the same sex. Sure things were said here and there but none of those things led me to know whether they will accept me or not. I came out to my lovely friend Theresa randomly on our way to Applebee’s and I felt like a weight had been lifted and I only told on person. Then came my friends on Tumblr (shout out to my girl Anna! Love you) Then my best friend Ashley and then I started talking to this girl.
Her name is Sunny. I started talking to her after she posted a face revel on her tumblr. I couldn’t move past her, her perfect face. I quickly sent a message along the lines of “You’re so beautiful, how do I get your skin.” She quickly replied with something sweet as she is. Then we talked and I joined her Admin group for her Tumblr and we talked more. The more I talked to her the more I liked her and she seemed to like me back for some crazy reason. Then one of my favorite days of the year hit (05/09/18) and we became official.
Now we’re two months in and I’ve told more people but my biggest worry is the rest of my family. I love them to death but I am scared that they’re not going to accept me. My mom (my hero) keeps telling that this isn’t what defines me, who I am defines me. I do have this amazing support group behind me. My closest friends, my momma, my siblings support me and of course Sunny. With this group I can take on the world but theres still that part that holds my heart and is scared of my family pushing me out.
I am excited to continue with Sunny and nothing will hold me back from her. She is amazing I couldn’t make it without her. Long story short I am crazy happy and in love with the most beautiful person inside and out. Sunny has all of her own stuff with but she continues to make time to support and adore me. Having someone tell you they adore you is crazy and amazing. I cant thank her enough for choosing to be with me. With that being said, long story short I am Bisexual and I have the best girlfriend ever and I would like to shout that from rooftops.
Mom. I love you so much thank you for having my back always
Sunny. You are my favorite human to ever live, you bring me so much joy. I love you.
My Friends. Thank you for your love and support when I told you, you guys know how I worry.
My family. No matter what I love you so much this doesn’t change that, I hope you love and support us.
Everyone else reading this. Love is Love and hope you support everyone you meet.